Lit Fic
by Vera Cobb
Summary: A silly parody of all the various Rory/Jess reunion fics floating around in cyberspace. No offense intended!


_A/N: Something that my brain cooked up in a moment of boredom. A parody of all the many Rory/Jess reunion fics that are floating around out here. No offense meant to anyone who likes some of the elements I parody. It's all in fun, and I'll admit, I'm sure I've used some of this stuff myself._

_Toodlepip!_

_~VC_**  
**

**LIT FIC**

**SCENE:**

Imagine, if you will, a publishing house in Philadelphia. Or, if it suits you better, the darkened corner of a reception room in Stars Hollow, after a wedding.

**THE PLAYERS:**

There are two: One, a dark eyed, dark haired hunk of a man – we'll call him Tess. The other, a dark haired, blue eyed, porcelain doll of a young woman. Her, we'll call Tory.

**ACTION:**

The players look at each other awkwardly.

'Should have known we'd meet again.'

'Yeah.'

'It was bound to happen.'

'Yeah.'

Tory shifts nervously. Tess looks around the setting you have previously imagined. He isn't going to make this easy on her.

Ah, tension!

It seems the last time they met, Tory hurt Tess's delicate baby feelings. Will he address that issue, or will they pussyfoot around it?

See we have options now. If you like angst, they'll probably broach the subject and argue and hurt each other some more. Like this:

'Tory I don't think we should hang around each other too much.'

Tory will look hurt. 'Why?'

Using his heart-melting brown eyes, he'll look at her, probably right into her soul. He'll have a lustful tone in his voice. 'Because being around you hurts too much. _You _hurt me too much.'

Now Tory will start a rant about how Tess hurt her a whole lot worse than anything she ever did to him. It will likely be long and rambling. He'll get defensive and blame his youthful behaviour on everything from his feelings of inadequacy, his self-loathing and his crappy upbringing.

Of course, she'll tell him that's all crap. If he'd opened up to her, they could have solved their problems. He'll tell her that he was afraid to do that, because he was _so_ embarrassed by his shortcomings. (No pun intended). He didn't want her to know what a loser he was. The audience will shake their heads sadly.

Tearfully, she'll tell him that she could have loved him anyway, but he never gave her the chance. Tess will have a moment of realization. The two will start to inch towards each other, passion buzzing electrically in the air. The second before their lips meet, a woman will appear in their secluded corner; most likely a blonde, vacuous tramp type person, dressed like a slut, but probably still very attractive.

'Tess!' she'll say. 'What are you doing? Aren't we going to make out?'

Tory will pull away from Tess in shock and horror. Tears will fill her beautiful blue orbs (they always call them orbs), and she'll mumble something incoherently before fleeing the scene. Tess will swear.

If you want realism, you'd have to consider that people are generally smarter than we expect and they should be grown up enough to just deal with it and move on.

'Hey Tess?'

'Yeah?'

'I've missed you.'

'Yeah?'

'Okay mister, you need a new word!'

'Yeah.'

'Tess!'

'I thought that was a new word. My old word was "Huh."

She'll smile, remembering the olden days. He'll apologise for being a jerk back then. She'll admit that she's not perfect. Hell, she stole a yacht and dropped out of college! Cue some witty banter as he teases her about that. Throughout the banter they'll inch closer to each other, relaxing in each other's company.

Now depending on where you're picturing them, either Tess will ask Rory if she wants to go upstairs to his apartment to watch a movie with him (9 times out of 10, the movie will be Almost Famous. 1 time in 10, it'll be Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory); alternatively, if they're at the wedding of their respective mother and uncle, Tess will ask Tory if she wants to dance.

You can imagine the results of both of these scenarios yourselves!

If you like things fluffy, they'll likely both just burst into tears, apologise, confess their undying love for each other right now, then slip away somewhere to canoodle.

I'm not a fluff fan, but I'll try and recreate the scene for you. Tory grows tired of Tess being cold to her.

'Tess, please don't hate me. I'm sorry for what I did to you when I came to your open house.'

Tess will look at her sadly.

'I was wrong back then.' (This is the part where she completely dismisses the fact that, however stupid and misguided it was, she _did_ love Togan.) 'I never loved Togan. Not like I love you. I was just afraid to love you. Afraid you'd hurt me again.'

Tess's look will now turn loving. He may even reach out and caress her face. 'Tory, I never meant to hurt you. I never will again. I love you Tory Filmore.'

Tory will gasp, tears will spill from (yes) her beautiful blue orbs and she'll say, 'I love you too, Tess Pariano.'

They'll fall into each others arms and canoodling will ensue.

Now, no matter which storyline you have followed here, all will have a similar result.

Tory and Tess will eventually work out any issues previously unresolved in the scene and after some time (or the next day if you went with fluff) Tess will propose to Tory – probably on the bridge in Star's Hollow, and all will live happily ever after.

In the sequel, Tory and Tess will have a kid – they'll name it either Torelai (Tori) or Tuke, depending on its gender.

THE END


End file.
